But if you think for one second, for one solitary second, that demanding tolerance for men as a group, that dismissing the reality of violence against women because not all men kill, not all men rape, if you think that’s more important than demanding justice for those who have been brutalised and murdered by those not all men, then you are part of the problem. You may not have pulled the trigger. You may not have raised your hand to a woman in your life. But you are part of the problem.
This is not the time, to use the refrain of apologists for bigotry, to play devil’s advocate. The devil has more than enough advocates today. On most days, I can put up with aggressive faux-objectivity being used to shout down women’s experiences and silence gendered trauma, but not today.
Like many of us, I’ve spent the last few days reading and thinking and reading and thinking about violence against women. I watched a shitty Friday the 13th sequel last night, and what screamed out at me was not Jason’s violence, but the instances of nonkiller men in the story getting angry when they were denied access to the women whose bodies they thought they deserved. Rodger didn’t exist in a vacuum.
I read this piece a few days ago, and read it again today, and I think its rawness gets right where I needed to go.